the thought vine

yo.

I’ve been thinkin. Life is pretty cool. 

I wear my feelings right on the insides of my wrists, above that radial artery that carries energy straight from the heart. I know this. I’m proud of this. Because it means I find joy in the ice that has air bubbles under it and cracks when you step on it. I find excitement in the possibility of greatness in kids that haven’t been taught not to believe in themselves yet. I like giving hugs. When people tell me about their bad days, I just want to tell them that its all going to be okay because its going to be 70 degrees outside tomorrow, and what can’t that help heal??

I’m not naive. I know how to grieve and complain and I can be a downer when I need to. But most of the time, I’m an optimist. 

And damn it, that’s not something to be ashamed of. 

valentines 2012: a day of radical self love.

This year for Valentine’s Day I will be celebrating the love of myself. I spend so much time worrying about what others think of me and giving so much to others that I think its time I turn that energy inward for a day and really give myself a hell of day. I’m not sure exactly what I have planned yet, but I know that it will be marvelous. I’m thinking some time set aside for music listening and journal writing, a realllllly long hot shower and time to actually get ready in the morning (with an outfit to make me feel fabulous!), a scrumptious dessert at dinner, and something special! I’m so excited! This should become a tradition regardless of if I’m in a relationship or not…..

So long.

“But now it’s time to see where the ride takes you. You have handed the universe some good cards and now you know its your turn to just let the energy of the world work what its meant to do”

I seriously have one of the best friends in the whole world. She’s right. I think its just time to take a deep breath and trust that the universe lead me in the right direction. 

This is the kind of education kids should be getting:

togetherforjacksoncountykids:

“It’s Okay to be Neither,” By Melissa Bollow Tempel

Alie arrived at our 1st-grade classroom wearing a sweatshirt with a hood. I asked her to take off her hood, and she refused. I thought she was just being difficult and ignored it. After breakfast we got in line for art, and I noticed that she still had not removed her hood. When we arrived at the art room, I said: “Allie, I’m not playing. It’s time for art. The rule is no hoods or hats in school.”

She looked up with tears in her eyes and I realized there was something wrong. Her classmates went into the art room and we moved to the art storage area so her classmates wouldn’t hear our conversation. I softened my tone and asked her if she’d like to tell me what was wrong.

“My ponytail,” she cried.

“Can I see?” I asked.

She nodded and pulled down her hood. Allie’s braids had come undone overnight and there hadn’t been time to redo them in the morning, so they had to be put back in a ponytail. It was high up on the back of her head like those of many girls in our class, but I could see that to Allie it just felt wrong. With Allie’s permission, I took the elastic out and re-braided her hair so it could hang down.

“How’s that?” I asked.

She smiled. “Good,” she said and skipped off to join her friends in art.

‘Why Do You Look Like a Boy?’

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tell me.

Today in acting class my group had to present for our chapter of The Empty Space and then create an activity that would demonstrate the ideas. For the activity we made people get up two at a time and entertain us. If someone in the audience got bored or became a passive observer, the people had to figure out a way to spark our interest again. I just want to say that watching one girl braid another’s hair and ask “What is the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you?” and to have that girl ANSWER honestly was far more beautiful and poetic and interesting than most of the theatre I’ve seen in my life. 

I watched Crazy, Stupid, Love tonight and what got me was when a character turned to the other and said: “Will you do me a favor? Will you do me a kindness and ask me something personal about my life?” I want to do this every day. I live for personal conversations. Lets be honest: everyone likes to talk about themselves. And sometimes I just want to listen. I just want to lay down with someone and ask question after question for hours. 

Recently, I’ve been getting closer to a friend and our conversations have turned into a question game. I ask something and then they respond. Immediately we are cutting the layers upon layers of shit that people normally have before you get to the interesting stuff. I don’t want to talk to you about how tired I am or how it sucks that it always rains here. I want to tell people that I am an endless dreamer; that I fall in love quickly and fully and despite the fact that sometimes it leads to hurt, I am proud as hell of it. I want to ask people when was the first moment that they wanted to touch another person gently to show how much they cared. I want to learn about the time you peed your pants in front of the whole third grade or the time that you realized in that exact moment that you were happy without conditions and how much it surprised you. 

Goal: to listen. 

So please everyone, tell me your stories, I’ll tell you mine and we’ll breathe in each others secrets and hurts and joys and maybe, just maybe, it’ll help us feel a little lighter.